We were full of anticipation as we boarded our El Al flight to Tel Aviv for our return to Zimbabwe. Abigail was now almost 5 months old and we were excited to get back to Africa and introduce her to all of our friends especially the Mukonowengwe, Taylor, Deuschle and Hess families with who had opened up there hearts and homes to us in the previous three years. We would no longer be bound by serial stays on 30-90 day visitor visas. We would soon have our residence visas and could establish ourselves in our own home as a family. We wouldn’t have to prove ourselves to the other ministries — we had established a foundation for ministry with the rural farm churches in Wedza and the Church Growth Support Centre in Harare. Everything was coming together!
We were firmly fixed on returning to Harare, but as I reflect on these events four decades later, I can’t help but notice the portents for the a future that we couldn’t even imagine at the time. Our return flight on El Al would connect to Johannesburg through Tel Aviv again, but this time only for have a short layover in Israel. But this flight was dramatically different because we had Abi with us.
You can probably understand why visitors to Israel are asked the following question by Israeli security agents before boarding a flight: “Why are you traveling to Israel?” It wasn’t until 9/11 in 2001 that Americans became conscious of the international terror threat and we began to experience security screening for every flight domestic or international. In 1986, we had already experienced Israeli screening on our trip from Johannesburg to Tel Aviv where we had answered the question, “Tourism.” This time we were only passing through Israel on our way to Africa and that seemed to satisfy the agents. I didn’t see any significance to this question until I sat down to write this chapter this afternoon. But, at the time, I could not imagine how significant that question would be.
As the flight was about an hour outside Israeli airspace, I noticed an identity transformation taking place among some of the passengers. Most of the passengers were certainly Jewish, some of the men wearing a kippah - the traditional skull cap denoting Torah observance or Orthodox Jewish identity, but there was little to distinguish Jew and non-Jew by how they dressed. There were a few men in the cabin who were dressed in black suits with black hats common to ultra-orthodox Jews. But as we approached Israel, people began freshening up and more men were suddenly wearing a kippah. The wives traveling with the ultra-orthodox men returned to their seats having changed from stylish fashions into dowdy looking clothes that covered their arms and legs and seemed to have removed most of their facial makeup. In addition, they were now wearing wigs over their hair as is the custom of many religious Jewish women. Other women had donned scarves or elaborate hair coverings. People were shedding the styles of where their flight had originated and dressing according to their inner identity as Jews. I didn’t understand their motivation at the time, but four decades later as Pegi and I would retire and move to Israel, we too would be setting aside the our identities to more fully embrace our inner Jewish identities. We wouldn’t be dressing differently, but inside we were bathing in our Jewish identities.
At the time I was 37. For the last 17 years I had been minimizing the significance of my Jewish heritage and identity. My perspective had been that my Jewishness was only a matter of where I had been. I had spent my adult life dismissing where I had come from and was focused on where I was going. Jewish identity was just my past and everyone has a past! I remember thinking that being Jewish was just my physical identity and I was more focused on my spiritual identity. But now the issue of physical and spiritual identity was sitting in my lap as the 747 flew closer to Africa. What was to be her identity? I had been more occupied with where I was going not where I had been. Where I was going was getting closer to experiencing the presence of God. But how would Abigail change things for Pegi and me? And how would Abi understand where she came from?
The path before me had taken me through Christianity and I although I could see all kinds of flaws and concerns with Christianity, I was still focused on the path that lay before me. I just couldn’t buy into the deity of Christ, the Trinity or the authority of Christian teachers and theologians. Of course, each step forward required analyzing and discarding these concerns. I would listen carefully to those who seemed to have something valid to contribute and test things for myself to see if they worked as advertised. If they didn’t work out in real life I would leave them by the side of the road. Each milestone on my path would be littered with abandoned baggage, but my desire was focused on the goal of experiencing the presence of God as much as was possible at the time. Much of the baggage was not from outside sources, but just stuff I had picked up during my wanderings—it was my baggage. When I realized it was weighing me down, I abandoned it too.
Decades later I would share this with central concept with my students:
God’s commandments in Exodus 20:2 begin with the declaration of God’s existence and are followed with the instruction not to let any god (power or person) get in between you and God.
אָֽנֹכִ֖י֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑֔יךָ אֲשֶׁ֧ר הוֹצֵאתִ֛יךָ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם מִבֵּ֣֥ית עֲבָדִ֑͏ֽים׃
I am יהוה (Hashem) your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, the house of bondage:
לֹֽ֣א־יִהְיֶ֥͏ֽה־לְךָ֛֩ אֱלֹהִ֥֨ים אֲחֵרִ֖֜ים עַל־פָּנָֽ͏ַ֗י׃
You shall have no other gods before Me [literally “before my face/presence].
Don’t let anything or anyone stand in between you and the face of God — not other gods/powers, ideas, theologies, philosophies, imaginations, people or any obstacle in the path forward. Let it go and keep moving forward to God Himself.
As we left Israeli airspace on our way to Johannesburg to begin our drive back to Harare, the faint stirrings of my Jewishness faded into the background as we focused on the road that would lead us back to Zimbabwe. We were no longer stuck in the States. We were about to continue our path forward. We had no thought that the new beginning we looked forward to in Zimbabwe would begin the process of leaving Christianity by the side of the road. We had no idea that the little bundle of life that we held in our arms would be the catalyst propelling us forward to fully embracing our Jewish identity as we continued to follow our path closer to God.
